The Alchemist

No, this is not a book review. However it is a recounting of auspicious and profound events that I still cannot fully comprehend. Disclaimer; if you're not into the "woo-woo" then this really isn't for you. So surprise surprise this past month has been full of relapses, well just two "minor" slips but they majorly fucked me up. This time of year is always tricky for me. In fact this is the first time in 3 years that I have made it this far into the year without having to be hospitalised, drugged out and essentially silenced. Knock on wood. So anyway I think once I realised that I really couldn't afford to go back into hospital/rehab after all the progress (spiritually) I have made it really freaked me and inevitably sent me straight back to the things that get me there in the first place which is a whole other discussion in and of itself but essentially I think my system has now found comfort in this little routine that was imposed on me. Fall down, stand up, waddle, walk, run, fall down. Only thing is I'm so sick of falling because it gets harder each time to stand up. Anyway one day after one of the slips I was having a cigarette in the bathroom and I felt it, I felt the tilting, I felt the screws spinning in reverse, out of control. Psychosis. But this time I said FUCK THAT! Not a chance am I doing that again, not a chance am I going to be forcibly put back on SSRI's when spiritually I knew exactly what was going on. So I pulled myself toward myself, resisted the urge to panic and transmuted the energy. Just like that. Now mind you I had never done anything like this before, I never believed I had the capability but in the moment I just knew exactly what to do and how to channel this surge of energy that was threatening to overcome me. I knew innately in that moment how to tame it for the wild beast that it was and boy was I rewarded. So the exact process I don't feel is necessary to share since I feel like everyone does this in different ways whether it be through movement or stillness we all have our own way, our own magic, our own craft. I will share though what I experienced after the transmuting. It first started as a subtle hum, a slight tingling in my feet and hands and then a rush of wave after wave of sensation unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It's like I could feel the tidal waves of the universes inside of me joining together to create one mammoth body of electric water. I suddenly heard different goddesses, my guides and for the first time my cosmic family clapping and cheering, I saw them all dancing, chanting and celebrating together around a fire and then I suddenly felt their hands patting me on the back, kissing me on the forehead for finally I had accessed my power,I had completed my initiation. It's almost as if in that moment I could see why I had to experience all that "psychosis" stuff in the first place which in my opinion is just a form of trance but again, another conversation for another day. Back then I was tripping with no intention essentially and it got me into trouble because I didn't know how and wasn't yet ready to handle the influx of energy of the dimensions I was travelling to, though it was my birth right. To transmute, to anchor, to integrate, to become the alchemist. I never used to understand and refused to accept my sensitivity, I just wanted to live a normal earthly life, unfortunately my crystalline DNA has other plans for me. I almost fell, and really hard too but I chose to keep running forward. Right now I'm on the ultimate fools journey. Since that night I've been in contact with the Sirians and Lyrans as finally I'm being recognised as ready. It's mission time folks, watch this space!